Winter ONEderland!

I apologize for my absence here lately, but it's just been insane as we prepared for Christmas and now Emerson's 1st birthday.

Yes, you read that right.

In just 4 short days, our sweet Emmie Mae will be ONE.

I'm having such mixed feelings as this day approaches.  For a 4th time, I just can't wrap my brain around just how fast this past year has flown by.  At the snap of my fingers. At the blink of an eye.  My sweet newborn has turned into a toddler.

This past year has been such a dream.  Emerson is the sweetest baby in the entire world.  Just perfect.  She was so, so easy and Bob and I count our lucky stars every single day with how we ended up with her as our 4th baby.  This year could have been so much more stressful having two little ones only 16 months apart, (andplusalso two additional kids, ha!) but she took it easy on us and cut us some slack.  She was patient as we constantly stopped feeding her to tend to other kiddos (cough:::reid:::cough). She happily played as we cleaned up spills and helped with homework and cut up food and SHOWERED.  She was, and still is, the best baby in the history of ever.

Thank you sweet girl for not breaking us as we wrangled 4 kiddos through this past year.  We all survived and we owe that, in large part, to you!

Here are a few things I wanted to share with you as we prepare for Em's party...

Anyone that follows me on Pinterest can tell that I've been going crazy over there gathering ideas for Em's Winter ONEderland party next weekend. I designed the invites myself and I'm currently gathering RSVP's and making sure there are enough seats for everyone {I'm not kidding.}  The cake has been ordered. The balloon artist/face painter is booked.  The decorations are ready to be put out. The food list is made. The final touches will be done by this weekend. And I took 2 days off next week just to make sure things are in order. Whew.  This is my last 1st birthday party, so I want to go out with a bang, ha!

Here's a glimpse of the theme/style I'm going with... lots of silvers, shimmery whites, soft pinks and touches of blue.

Some of the paper products and party supplies we got are the "Shining Season" theme, and I just love the look!

I can't wait to see everything decorated next weekend!  I also ordered her a special birthday shirt, have her outfit already, and ordered a few special decorations from Etsy, along with some things I plan to make on my own.  We'll see how they turn out, ha! ;)  I'll leave the cake a surprise, but this is the smash cake I ordered.... EEEKKK!  It's ALMOST too pretty to eat.  Almost.

 

And last, but certainly not least, I'm going through Emerson's monthly pics to place in her frame to be displayed at the party.  I swear this year has flown by almost as fast as it's taken me to put these pics together.  This sweet girl is just SO LOVED.  Can't wait to celebrate her!

Just one last picture to capture on Tuesday, January 27th {Emerson's actual birthday} and the year will be complete.  Ahhhhhhh.

You guise, this doesn't get any easier with practice.  It may even get worse.  Prepare yourselves.

More to come...

Happenings Lately

So much going on, people.  So much.  Obviously I haven't blogged in awhile.  The truth is... I can barely go to the bathroom, shower and/or eat with 2 hands {oh, the luxuries!}, so clearly blogging is going to take a back seat. But I'm now trying my best to get back into the swing of things. So here's what's been happening lately...
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I go back to work next week!  Ahhhh.  How did this happen!?!  Baby girl is 9 weeks old {today!} so I do feel lucky that I will have had 10 weeks at home with her before I go back.  I also have a nice transition back into the office over the next month, which I'm very grateful for as well!

But, I have to admit... I'm having serious mixed feelings about it. 

On one hand, I am super excited to get back to work. {Call me crazy!}  I just miss being in my work environment, having daily adult interaction and actually getting a designated lunch break where I'll be able to eat.  With 2 hands!  {It's the little things.}

On the other hand, I know I will miss my baby girl like whoa.  And my 3 other babies too, obviously.  But especially Emerson.  We've been attached at the hip {or she's been attached to my boob, rather} for 10 weeks straight... it will be a difficult adjustment to leave her for 8 hours a day while I'm at work.  But we'll get through it... I have 3 times before this, right?
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Speaking of going back to work... I've been having serious anxiety, to the point of having nightmares about it.  And not for any of the reasons mentioned above.  Here's the thing...

My very first day back in the office after my maternity leave with Reid?  My dad died.

The. very. first. day.

Imagine being overwhelmed with the thought of leaving your new baby for the first time as you head back to work. Running a little late, as you transition to your new morning routine.  Sitting down at the computer to hundreds of new emails.  Your desk flooded with all the changes made in the short time that you've been gone. You haven't yet said hello to all of your fellow coworkers, because you've been inundated with work. And just as you get a moment to breathe after a few overwhelming hours trying to get re-accustomed to your work environment, you get that fateful call that will change your life forever.

I never realized, until recently as I prepare to head back to work again, just how much it has impacted me.  The timing of it all.  Being with Reid for 12 weeks straight and then, leaving for work that day, and not seeing him for more than an hour in the week that followed.  Makes me cry just thinking about how difficult that time was for everyone.  It's hard enough losing a parent, but to have it happen just 2 hours into your very first day back from maternity leave when you're already an emotional mess, made it all that more difficult. {And let's not add to it, the fact that I came home late that night to a dog that could no longer walk and that we were told to put to sleep THAT SAME DAY.}

It was obviously the hardest day of my life.

So, as I prepare to go back to work next week, I can't help but have severe anxiety about it. Almost like... "what terrible thing is going to happen when I return to work this time?"
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Let's shift gears, shall we?

Carter is playing baseball!  Well, tee-ball, but still.  He's so excited about it {and so am I!}  Opening Day is this Saturday and I'm praying for nice weather.  The poor kid has only had 1 practice so far because the other 4 have been cancelled due to rain and SNOW. {Ugh!}  Would it be too much to ask to have spring-like weather in spring??  Anyway, here's my little cutie just before his first {and only, grrr} practice:

Love him!  I must also add that he is doing amazing in school.  I was so worried about how he was going to do with being so young {he has a July birthday!} and I was even more worried about how he would act in school, but I'm happy to report that he is doing SO WELL!!  We are so proud of him!  Go Carter Man!
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With April approaching, I am in the midst of planning Brynn's 4th {WTH!?!?!} birthday party.  Her birthday is on a Saturday this year {May 24th}, so that makes things easier.  Of course, that's Memorial Day weekend too, but whatever.  It is what it is.  Anyway, baby girl wants to have it at Build-A-Bear again, so that's what we'll do.  And, like every other child on the planet, it MUST be Frozen themed.  Because, what else is there right now!?!  Exactly. {And a Frozen/snowflake theme on Memorial Day weekend makes so much sense.  Obviously.}

I did design her Frozen birthday invitation a few days ago, and I'm still tweaking it to perfection, so I'll be sure to post it as soon as it's ready!  I will say that it's one of my favorite invitations that I've designed so far though... EEEKKK!

Here's a recent pic of Brynn and I on our little girls day out...

We only went to Target and Chicl-Fil-A, but hey! It was fun! It was so nice to just have some time with my first baby girl. :)
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Reid Joesph turned 18 months on March 10th. He is doing amazing... he's smart as a whip but equally as evil.  He is into everything, let me tell ya.  There's a reason he's so cute, ha! We have his 18 month well visit on the same day as Emerson's 2 month visit, so I'll include his stats in that post as well. Here's a pic of my sweet boy along with his cousin, BFF and birthday twin, Aubrey, last weekend at their cousin Ben's 7th {ahh!!} birthday party...

OMG, they're the best, aren't they!?!
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Emerson just turned 2 months old on March 27th.  Can you believe it!?!  I have a whole post planned for later this week, but here's my little sweet pea on her second monthaversary...

Still with the hair.  I LOVE IT.  She's the sweetest!

She has her 2 month well visit on Thursday with Reid, so I'll have stats and everything for you then!  But let me just say that she is a great baby.  She's been sleeping through the night for several weeks now, has been an awesome nurser {with no signs of reflux, woo hoo!} and is very go-with-the-flow {poor thing doesn't have a choice, but still.} She just adores her brothers and sister too.  She's all smiles when they're around! :)  I'll have more on Emmie Mae later this week...
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In other news, Bob and I are still alive after two months with 4 kids, so that's saying something, right??

More later.  Promise.

Survival Mode

Oh, hey.  I'm still here.  You have no idea how many times I've tried to post in the last FOUR WEEKS since I had Emmie.  {Yep, she's 4 weeks old today, ahhhh!}  The problem is, when you're nursing almost constantly, it's quite difficult to get on your computer.  And when you hate doing anything but scrolling Instagram and Facebook from your phone, it'll take you 4 weeks to write any kind of post.

Unfortunately, this is not the post I wanted to write and I so wish I had more time.  I want to tell you all about the last 4 weeks.  {What a whirlwind!} How life with 4 is going. {It's easier than I thought it would be!}  How Carter, Brynn & Reid just ADORE their new little sister. {It's amazing.}  How the other kids, especially Reid, are adjusting to this big change. {Reid is a little monster now and in to everything. But so damn cute.} How breastfeeding is going this time. {Better now!}  How I'm really not getting any sleep. {Typical.}

But for now? This little check-in will have to do.

In the meantime, please follow me on Facebook and Instagram {especially IG} as I have been trying to post daily updates there!

Oh, and one last thing... I had Emerson's newborn pictures taken {by the wonderful Stephanie Glover Photography} when she was 6 days old and I plan to post them all soon.  But for now...

LOVE. I'm one lucky mama.

Be back soon.  Promise.

Emerson Mae: A Birth Story

First, I want to say thank you for all of your love and support on Monday.  I know a lot of you were following my sister's Instagram updates and I truely appreciate all the healthy vibes you sent.  They worked!

I wanted to try to type this up as soon as I could before I completely block out labor and delivery from my mind forever. Ha!  I knew this baby girl was on her own schedule, and she definitely showed me and everyone else who is boss.  I'm expecting her to give us a run for our money for many years to come ;)

So here it is... the birth story of our sweet Emerson Mae:

Things progressed beautifully at first.  I was at the hospital by 6am, started the antibiotics by 7am and was checked for the first time at 8:45am.  I had already progressed to 7cm on my own, so my OB decided to wait until 10am to start the pitocin and 11am to break my water so that I could get a full 4 hours of antibiotics to treat the GBS. She advised me to get the epidural soon after starting the pitocin as well, just in case things progressed faster that what we expected.

Around 11:30am my BP started going crazy.  It kept dropping significantly (I had gestational hypertension going in too, so it started really high) and it stayed in the double digits on the top and bottom the entire time. It made me feel TERRIBLE. I was light-headed, dizzy, my arms and hands were tingling.  And every time I tried sitting up it would drop again. I spent a lot of time getting fluids and slowly trying to raise my bed so that I could sit up.

It finally worked and by 1:15pm, I had progressed to 10cm and was 100% effaced and was ready to start pushing.  I remember thinking "whoa, this is going so fast!" 

Famous last words, right?

After I started pushing for a bit, baby girl would not come down.  She was transverse and her shoulder was stuck.  My OB decided to wait and let her labor down a bit on her own so that I didn't spend hours pushing.  I completely agreed.  At 2pm we tried pushing again.  No dice.  Homegirl was not having it. By 2:30, we decided to wait a little longer while I laid on my side trying to get her to turn.  At that point my epi stopped working and I was feeling EVERYTHING.  They were able to give me a bolus at 4pm, but from 2:30-4pm I basically thought I might die from the pain.  I just wanted to push and I couldn't because she was stuck so all I could do was lay on my side and breath/scream/cry through the contractions.  It was awful.

Once I got the bolus, it took about 10 minutes for it to take affect.  When I finally got a chance to look at the clock, I knew that my OB would not be delivering my baby (she was off the clock at 5pm and I knew she had somewhere to go. We just didn't think there was even a chance that I'd still be laboring at that point.)   She came in to see me and I started to cry. I was just so frustrated and we both thought that it would have gone much smoother/faster than this.  I mean, this was baby #4.  Everyone did.

But there was just no rushing my baby girl.

My OB and I talked about her size and she was confident that I could deliver vaginally, but I asked her at what point we'd decide that was no longer an option.  Honestly, I was absolutely exhausted at that point and I was doubting if (1) she would ever turn and drop and (2) if I had the energy to push any longer.  Together, we came up with a plan.

They let me rest from 4-5pm, which I appreciated so much.  I had a real moment here because I finally accepted the fact that I was no longer running the show. Baby girl was the boss from here on out and I was okay with whatever we had to do to get her here safely. From 5-6pm we did some practice side pushes to try to get her to turn/drop and get her shoulder unstuck then I rested again and labored down until 6:45pm. 

Around that time, I finally started feeling differently. Like MAYBE there was a chance to deliver this baby girl.  And soon.  The OB on call came in (she delivered my niece Aubrey so we knew she was awesome) and she was.  She was simply amazing.  She made me feel like I could deliver this baby girl without having a c-section.

I started pushing again at 7pm and I FINALLY felt like we were making progress.  All day I felt like I was pushing for no reason, but this time was the real deal.  Baby girl was finally ready.

After just 17 minutes of pushing, Emerson Mae came into the world kicking and screaming.  She was born on January 27, 2014 at 7:17pm weighing 9lbs 15.22oz and 21in.  (No wonder she was stuck!) She has a full head of DARK (what??) hair and is absolutely beautiful!  She looks like a mix between her 2 brothers right now and it is so sweet.  And, let me tell ya, watching my FOUR babies meet for the first time is a moment that I will never, ever forget.  My heart bursts with joy.

I'll be posting L&D pictures as soon as I can, but wanted to quickly share her hospital picture that was taken yesterday at not even 24 hours old.

We are so in love!  Our hearts are so full and our family is finally complete.  Welcome to the world, sweet Emerson Mae, we've been waiting for you.

And she shall be named...

As many of you already know, when I was pregnant with baby #3, we were team green, so we had two names picked out for the baby pretty much from the beginning of the pregnancy:

Reid Joseph or Emerson Mae

Because my momtuition is terrible, I of course, thought that it was a girl.  But it wasn't just me... even Bob's dadtuition was broken too {and he had a 100% sucess rate going before Reid was born!}  I'm pretty sure Carter was the only one that thought it was a boy.  And maybe my sister, Kristi.  Anyway, you can imagine our surprise when out came our healthy baby boy, Reid Joseph.  :)

Well, just two short months after Reid's birth, my dad died very suddenly.  We were shocked by this terrible news.  Reid has my dad's name as his middle name {Joseph} and I'm so glad my dad knew that before he passed.  I've always felt that Reid was meant to be, but especially after we lost my dad.  Reid came to us at the most perfect time and we are so thankful for him.

Throughout my pregnancy with Reid, Bob and I talked about a 4th child briefly, but decided to table the idea until after Reid's 1st birthday {ya know, which was 2 weeks ago, mind you.} Well, when Reid was just 8 months old, we got the surprise of a lifetime... this pregnancy.  We found out on the morning after my dad's birthday.  It was a very emotional weekend, to say the least.  {You can read about it here.} We discussed names, but I wasn't so sure about using Emerson for a girl... it wasn't an automatic thing, by any means.  We had lots of names on the table, both boys and girls, and we wanted to just wait and see what we were having before we decided.

Well, when that day came and we found out we were having a little girl, we just knew it had to be Emerson Mae.  {You know, once I actually accepted the fact that we were having a GIRL.  I totally thought it was a boy.  Again, my momtuition is TERRIBLE. Ha!}  We certainly feel as if this baby girl was meant to be too.  Having a surprise pregnancy just 8 months after having Reid and finding out on my dad's birthday weekend and then a few months later finding out that it's a baby girl!?! Seriously?!?

I almost feel like we were always meant to have her.  That she was always meant to be ours.

That we were always suppose to have Reid Joseph AND Emerson Mae.

So, there you have it.  Our baby girl has a name. And we can not wait to meet our little Emmie Mae.