Happenings Lately

So much going on, people.  So much.  Obviously I haven't blogged in awhile.  The truth is... I can barely go to the bathroom, shower and/or eat with 2 hands {oh, the luxuries!}, so clearly blogging is going to take a back seat. But I'm now trying my best to get back into the swing of things. So here's what's been happening lately...
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I go back to work next week!  Ahhhh.  How did this happen!?!  Baby girl is 9 weeks old {today!} so I do feel lucky that I will have had 10 weeks at home with her before I go back.  I also have a nice transition back into the office over the next month, which I'm very grateful for as well!

But, I have to admit... I'm having serious mixed feelings about it. 

On one hand, I am super excited to get back to work. {Call me crazy!}  I just miss being in my work environment, having daily adult interaction and actually getting a designated lunch break where I'll be able to eat.  With 2 hands!  {It's the little things.}

On the other hand, I know I will miss my baby girl like whoa.  And my 3 other babies too, obviously.  But especially Emerson.  We've been attached at the hip {or she's been attached to my boob, rather} for 10 weeks straight... it will be a difficult adjustment to leave her for 8 hours a day while I'm at work.  But we'll get through it... I have 3 times before this, right?
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Speaking of going back to work... I've been having serious anxiety, to the point of having nightmares about it.  And not for any of the reasons mentioned above.  Here's the thing...

My very first day back in the office after my maternity leave with Reid?  My dad died.

The. very. first. day.

Imagine being overwhelmed with the thought of leaving your new baby for the first time as you head back to work. Running a little late, as you transition to your new morning routine.  Sitting down at the computer to hundreds of new emails.  Your desk flooded with all the changes made in the short time that you've been gone. You haven't yet said hello to all of your fellow coworkers, because you've been inundated with work. And just as you get a moment to breathe after a few overwhelming hours trying to get re-accustomed to your work environment, you get that fateful call that will change your life forever.

I never realized, until recently as I prepare to head back to work again, just how much it has impacted me.  The timing of it all.  Being with Reid for 12 weeks straight and then, leaving for work that day, and not seeing him for more than an hour in the week that followed.  Makes me cry just thinking about how difficult that time was for everyone.  It's hard enough losing a parent, but to have it happen just 2 hours into your very first day back from maternity leave when you're already an emotional mess, made it all that more difficult. {And let's not add to it, the fact that I came home late that night to a dog that could no longer walk and that we were told to put to sleep THAT SAME DAY.}

It was obviously the hardest day of my life.

So, as I prepare to go back to work next week, I can't help but have severe anxiety about it. Almost like... "what terrible thing is going to happen when I return to work this time?"
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Let's shift gears, shall we?

Carter is playing baseball!  Well, tee-ball, but still.  He's so excited about it {and so am I!}  Opening Day is this Saturday and I'm praying for nice weather.  The poor kid has only had 1 practice so far because the other 4 have been cancelled due to rain and SNOW. {Ugh!}  Would it be too much to ask to have spring-like weather in spring??  Anyway, here's my little cutie just before his first {and only, grrr} practice:

Love him!  I must also add that he is doing amazing in school.  I was so worried about how he was going to do with being so young {he has a July birthday!} and I was even more worried about how he would act in school, but I'm happy to report that he is doing SO WELL!!  We are so proud of him!  Go Carter Man!
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With April approaching, I am in the midst of planning Brynn's 4th {WTH!?!?!} birthday party.  Her birthday is on a Saturday this year {May 24th}, so that makes things easier.  Of course, that's Memorial Day weekend too, but whatever.  It is what it is.  Anyway, baby girl wants to have it at Build-A-Bear again, so that's what we'll do.  And, like every other child on the planet, it MUST be Frozen themed.  Because, what else is there right now!?!  Exactly. {And a Frozen/snowflake theme on Memorial Day weekend makes so much sense.  Obviously.}

I did design her Frozen birthday invitation a few days ago, and I'm still tweaking it to perfection, so I'll be sure to post it as soon as it's ready!  I will say that it's one of my favorite invitations that I've designed so far though... EEEKKK!

Here's a recent pic of Brynn and I on our little girls day out...

We only went to Target and Chicl-Fil-A, but hey! It was fun! It was so nice to just have some time with my first baby girl. :)
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Reid Joesph turned 18 months on March 10th. He is doing amazing... he's smart as a whip but equally as evil.  He is into everything, let me tell ya.  There's a reason he's so cute, ha! We have his 18 month well visit on the same day as Emerson's 2 month visit, so I'll include his stats in that post as well. Here's a pic of my sweet boy along with his cousin, BFF and birthday twin, Aubrey, last weekend at their cousin Ben's 7th {ahh!!} birthday party...

OMG, they're the best, aren't they!?!
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Emerson just turned 2 months old on March 27th.  Can you believe it!?!  I have a whole post planned for later this week, but here's my little sweet pea on her second monthaversary...

Still with the hair.  I LOVE IT.  She's the sweetest!

She has her 2 month well visit on Thursday with Reid, so I'll have stats and everything for you then!  But let me just say that she is a great baby.  She's been sleeping through the night for several weeks now, has been an awesome nurser {with no signs of reflux, woo hoo!} and is very go-with-the-flow {poor thing doesn't have a choice, but still.} She just adores her brothers and sister too.  She's all smiles when they're around! :)  I'll have more on Emmie Mae later this week...
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In other news, Bob and I are still alive after two months with 4 kids, so that's saying something, right??

More later.  Promise.

It's been a year, today.

It's been a year, today, since I last heard his laugh. 

An entire year since I last got his great advice or hung out with him in the garage as he cleaned his Chevelle.

365 days since I last went out to lunch with him or we watched a football game together.

12 months since he has played with my kids on the living room floor or watched one of Carter's soccer games.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about him.  What he'd be doing if he were still here with us.  What he'd say when my mom turned 60 or Reid and Aubrey turned 1.  How'd he react watching Carter step on to the school bus for the very first time or when I found out I was pregnant with another precious baby girl. 

He has missed so much in the past year and, while it's so hard to imagine all the years he will miss, I know that he is still with us always. 

I picture his smile often.

I hear his voice when I need him. 

And I know that he would be proud of the things that we have done.

Missing you always, Dad.

WW: My Dad's Birthday

On Saturday we hit one of the toughest milestone since my dad passed away suddenly on December 4th.

His birthday.

We knew it would be tough, so we made sure to plan things that would help us honor his life and celebrate the things that he loved the most.

The first thing we did?  We ate.  We had a BBQ.  Because if there was anything my dad liked to do, it was eat :)

Next, we got to dedicate his beautiful tree! We really got the kids involved in this and they LOVED it!

Here's the gorgeous plaque we found and we love it so much. We didn't want anything sad, we wanted something sweet. A precious reminder of the man we all loved so much!

 

Isn't it just perfect?

My mom plans to plant flowers all around it and put up a little stone wall.

Next, we tied some balloons to the "Dad" sign we got and had everyone write a special message to him.  The kids loved signing their names.  It was super sweet.

 

It will be nice once my dad's stone arrives in September {I didn't realize they take almost a year to make!} But I'm glad he has something special on his plot.

And the last thing we did was go out to dinner as a family to my dad's favorite restaurant. We laughed.  We drank wine.  We shared stories.  It was a perfect way to end the day.

Love my mama!  I don't know what I'd do without that woman.

Leading up to my dad's birthday, I thought it was going to be a day full of tears. But it wasn't.  Sure, there were some. But I'm surprised at how well everyone handled the day and I think it's because we all knew that we were celebrating him exactly the way he'd want us too.

We love you so much, Dad, and miss you everyday! Happy 57th Birthday, Papa Joe.

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Happenings Lately...

Okay, so there is a lot going on and this is the easiest way to talk about it =)

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The house is officially on the market!  It's been up for a little over a week now and we're still waiting for our first call for a showing {not that I expected them to come right away, everyone seems to be crazy busy through Memorial Day!}  But let me just tell you?  Keeping the house "show ready" with 3 kids?  Exhausting.  Especially when they like to dump all their toys out again 3 minutes after you clean them up and are half out the door on the way to work. 

It's awesome.

But it's fine.  Bob and I have a pretty good system going.  Clean up after the kids go to bed and then just straighten up and make the beds before we leave the house every morning.  Although I'm so tired of it {already, sheesh!} I do really like that our house is always clean.  It makes me feel so much better and more organized!  I feel like my pre-kid self again ;)

So yeah, I'll keep you posted on that and I really AM going to blog about the before and after pictures of our house.  Really.

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So tomorrow is Brynn's birthday.  I mentioned that before and we are really excited about celebrating with her.  She is the sweetest ever and I love her so damn much.  I can't wait to spend the day with her tomorrow! Also... everyone in our family gets to pick their birthday dinner {my mom will make anything they want!} and Brynnie picked pancakes.  So, pancakes it is tomorrow night. =)

But what I haven't mentioned yet?  Saturday is my dad's birthday.

Yeah.  That's going to be tough. 

I cry just thinking about it.

We do have some special things planned to honor his birthday {I don't really want to use the word "celebrate"}.  Everyone will head over to my mom's house in the morning to get the day started.  As I mentioned before, we planted a tree in honor of my dad. Well we bought this gorgeous plaque to place beside it and we plan to put that in the ground around noon.  I'll be sure to post a picture of it on IG {and likely here next week} so stay tuned for that.  We didn't want anything sad... we wanted it to just be a sweet reminder of him and the lives that he's touched along the way. We searched high and low for the perfect plaque and the moment we saw it, we just knew.  I really can not wait to put that out next to his tree in my mom's backyard.  It will be very special.

After the plaque, we plan to have a little lunch BBQ.  My dad LOVED BBQ's and since his birthday always fell on/around Memorial Day, we had one for him every year. 

I remember last year, we had a BBQ for him and Brynn on the same day and it was so fun just celebrating the two of them, BBQing it up, sitting around the fire pit, as the kids rode their scooters and played on the new waterslide. My dad and I drove around from store to store on his actual birthday last year, just trying to get this waterslide for the kids.  We must have gone to 10 different stores for this thing because it was sold out everywhere.  And I remember thanking him for going with me and spending his birthday looking for something that would make the kids so happy.  He was the best! 

 

Sigh.  Yeah.  Saturday is going to be hard.

After our BBQ, we plan to visit the cemetery and then, later in the evening, head out to dinner at one of his favorite restaurants.  Although we know how difficult of a day it will be, we have some special things planned and we will be spending the day together.  There may be a lot of tears, but there will also be just as much laughter. My dad's girls are strong... we'll get through it.

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Sunday is Aubrey's Baptsim!  {We just go right from one thing to the next, don't we?}  My sister has been working so hard on getting everything ready for Auggleberry's special day and I just know that it's going to be lovely.  I'm excited and can't wait to spend the day celebrating such a special baby girl {and Reid's BFF, cousin, and birthday twin!}

It's okay, you can say it... she's the sweetest, right?

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Okay, so I kinda have some news. I kinda submitted a proposal for this big international conference for work.  And it kinda got accepted.  So I'm kinda going to the conference next month.  In... {wait for it}...

Hawaii.

Yep, I AM serious.

I am so excited that I can barely contain myself.  We leave just 3 weeks from Sunday!  There are a few of my coworkers going as well, but guess who else is coming along?  

Bob. =)

We've never been to Hawaii, so this is a dream for us. We're staying in Waikoloa, on the big island.  For those that have been there before, do you have any tips and/or must see things that we should look into?  I do actually have to attend/present at the conference {obviously;} but we do have a few days to ourselves and want to make the most of it!  So far, we plan to visit the volcanoes and go to a luau {my idea, but come on!  It's Hawaii!}  Anything else you can think of?  Any wonderful restaurants we should try?  Let me know!

And I must must MUST thank my wonderful mom and mother-in-law.  As soon as we mentioned the word Hawaii, they automatically told us not to worry about the kids.  We realize exactly how lucky we are to have not one, but TWO, wonderful mothers who are there for us always and who are willing to take our 3 crazy kids for a week.  You both are the best ever and we love you so very much.  MUAH!

And I must do it.  I must.  

Oh, ya know... just a shot of our hotel pool.  NBD.

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Yeah, so there's not much happening lately at all, huh? ;)

Google Reader is going away on July 1st, and I don't want to lose you in the shuffle!

WW: Memorial Tree

I apologize for my lack of blogging this week, we have been SO BUSY trying to get ready for Reid's Baptism party this Sunday and also trying to get our house on the market next week {OMG}, that I have barely had time to even sleep, let alone blog!  I promise things will pick up around here soon.  In the meantime, I want to share with you a picture I took my my dad's memorial tree that was just planted this past weekend.

If you remember me telling you before, we were so sad to have to cut down the huge old Maple tree in my parents backyard in January.

And, since then, the tree stump has sat there as a glaring reminder of all that we have lost these past few months.

Well, on Saturday, the weather was finally warm enough to grind up the old stump and plant a new tree in its place.  And it's amazing what that new little tree has done for me, emotionally. It's refreshing to see this new life in a place that once stood a symbol of all the death we have faced recently. It's yet another reminder that life continues and, as hard as it may be to move on, there are still plenty beautiful things in this world.

Although we had hoped to plant the new tree on my dad's birthday in May, we're glad that we get to enjoy it now. I think we've all seemed a little brighter since it was planted this weekend. We're now in the process of ordering a memorial plaque to place beside it, and we plan to hold a little dedication ceremony on my dad's birthday on May 25th.

This tree is for you, Dad.  We miss you every day.

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Google Reader is going away on July 1st and I don't want to lose you!

37.

Today would have been a very special day for my parents.

They would have celebrated 37 wonderful years of marriage.

Thirty-seven years.

Some can only dream of finding that kind of love.

And my parents had it.

While this is a hard and very emotional day for our family, especially my mom, we know that February 28th will always remain a very special day in our hearts because it united two people in love.  And look at all the wonderful things that were created because of it. 

True and ever lasting love?...

It exists.

And I thank my parents for showing me that it does.

WW: Vacation's all I ever wanted.

{Yeah, now try not to get THAT song stuck in your head. Good luck.}

So, we booked our house for this summers annual family vacation...

...and while I'm super excited about relaxing on that porch, enjoying the view and reading a book chasing my kids around, I'm also a little sad about it at the same time. 

Not that our entire family doesn't need a vacation.  Oh, we so do.  We've been through a lot.

But as I searched for vacation rentals in OBX for this summer, I cried. Because the last 7 years that we've gone down to the Outer Banks, my dad was with us.  And it hurts my heart to think of making that drive without him this year. He just loved it so much.  And I know he would have wanted us to go back, but I think it's just too soon.  We're not ready to be there without him.

Not yet.

So this year? We're staying local.  {Yay for a 1 hour drive instead of a 7 hour drive!} We're headed to OCNJ, which we LOVE.  We've been going there since I was younger and it just feels right to head back there for our summer vacation. Not only that, but it's nice to support our local beaches this year in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.

So yeah.  Vacation. I wish we could leave tomorrow.

Have you booked your summer vacation yet? If so, where are you going?

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WW: The Old Tree

There was an old tree at my parents house.  The kind of tree that would make any kid smile.  The kind of tree that was so easy to climb.  The kind of tree that once had countless kids hanging from its sturdy branches or playing under its beautiful shaded leaves.

There was an old tree at my parents house.  The kind of tree that would make any adult smile.  The kind of tree that was the perfect refuge on a hot summer day.  The kind of tree that held many memories of birthday parties, picnics and family gatherings. 

 

There was an old tree at my parents house.  The kind of tree that we realized wasn't going to be around much longer.  The kind of tree that was starting to fall apart.  The kind of tree that would be so sadly missed by every person that spent time under it over the past 25 years.

This past weekend, that beautiful old tree at my parents house?  It had to be taken down.

And while the memories made under the shaded leaves of that beautiful old tree will never be forgotten, we are comforted in knowing that a new one will be planted in its place this upcoming May, in loving memory of my dad, on his birthday.

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Borrowed Time

10 years ago today, I almost lost my dad.

Almost.

And not a day has gone by, in those 10 years, that we weren't thankful for having him in our lives.

Every single day we were thankful.

We knew how lucky we were.  And we still know it now.

We had 10 exrta years with him.

10 years of "borrowed time."

10 years that we never, ever took for granted.

10 years of hugs, love, laughter, holidays, soccer games, vacations, car shows, weddings and babies.

Although he may not be here with us today {and it hurts my heart so much to write that} I know that he is looking down on us and smiling.  Because he never took those years for granted either.  We all knew just how lucky we were to have each other.

And because of that, we had the best 10 years of our lives.

I so very much wish that we could have had 50 extra years with him.  But 10 will have to do. And I am still so thankful for that.

If you haven't read my dad's amazing story of survival, please do.  It's worth your time, I promise.

He is, and will always be, the strongest man I have ever known.

Dad, thank you so much for being strong enough to make it through the accident and for giving us that extra time with you. I will forever be grateful for having a father who was truly the best dad in the entire world.

My hero.

The memories created in these last 10 years will never be forgotten... you walking me down the aisle at my wedding, you being there {and SO NERVOUS} during the births of all three of my babies, you helping Bob and I fix up our house, you being the very first person I called when I had a problem with anything, you offering to coach Carter's soccer team and being there for every single one of his games.  I feel so lucky to have had someone that I can lean on so much.  You were always there when we needed you.  Always.

I wish that I was taking you out to lunch today so that we could eat CFA nuggets and drink hand spun milkshakes until our bellies hurt. But, instead, the memories I hold so dear in my heart will have to be enough.

I love you so very much and miss you more than you will ever know.

Wordless | The Accident

9 years ago today I almost lost my dad. Almost. And I can remember every single detail of that day. Like those that experience tragedy often do.

If you haven't had a chance to read his amazing story, please do. It's worth your time, I promise.

So today, 9 whole years later, I am thankful to have him in our lives. To have had him walk me down the aisle and dance with me at my wedding. To have him as an amazing father and grandfather to my children. To have him celebrate all the holidays and births, good times and bad. I am so thankful.

You're my hero dad and I love you more than you will ever know.

And I promise you a real post soon. Things are a bit crazy right now, but there are so many things I want/need to blog about....so? Soon, okay? =)

The Accident

To say that my dad has been through a lot would be the understatement of the century. Last year I decided to share the story of one of the scariest days of my life: January 10, 2003. I won't rewrite it, as I feel I couldn't have told it better again if I tried. So instead I'll just point you to where you can read it, if you chose.

The Accident

My dad, the miracle man.
My hero.

I of IV

I'm going to break this story up into 4 parts. I've always felt like that's kinda how it took place for me...so I'll do the same for you. Choose to read the whole story, parts of it, or none at all. I just feel like I need to tell it.

{Ignorance is Bliss}
January 10, 2003. Exactly 6 years ago... tomorrow. But I can remember every detail like it was yesterday.

My cell phone was ringing. It was Friday morning and I glanced at the clock. 6:32. Ugh... it's not time to wake up for work yet, who's calling me? It was my mom and she was hysterical crying. Through her tears and gasps for air, she finally got out the words that I will never forget... "your dad was in an accident this morning." My first response was to calm her down and not worry about myself or my feelings. I was actually shocked at how I would not let myself cry. "Mom, he was in a big truck, I'm sure he's not seriously injured. I mean, how bad could it be?... I'm sure he's fine." Famous last words, right?

I get off the phone with my mom, get dressed, call my sister Kristi (she doesn't pick up), call out of work, and hop into my car and head straight to my parents house. I call Bob while I'm driving and he heads over there as well. Of course I get stuck in morning rush hour traffic and then behind a train that decides to drive 2 mph forward, stop, and then back up. Huh? If my little 2 door black Civic would have fit under that train, I swear I would have timed it perfectly so that I could make it to the other side. I call Kristi 3 more times on the drive over, but I still wasn't able to get a hold of her.

When I get to my parents house, my aunt and my mom's best friend were already there. My mom still can not stop crying. I hound her for more details... "what did dad's boss say?" {just that dad was in an accident while out delivering this morning} "where was the accident?" {West New York, NJ} "was he injured?" {possible broken femur} "what hospital is he in?" {Jersey City Medical Center}. That's all we knew... and it wasn't much. My mom, her best friend, and myself headed the 2 hours north to the hospital. We finally got a hold of Kristi and Bob was staying behind so that he could drive her to the hospital.

Where was my sister, Kacy, you may ask? She was in the middle of the Caribbean... on a cruise with her best friend, Ally.

We get to the hospital and basically run inside. After a 2 hour drive, we couldn't wait to see him. We quickly find out that my dad was in the Trauma ICU. Hmmm... for a broken leg? And then our worst fears were confirmed....

II of IV

{The Accident}
My dad was making a delivery to a local restaurant that shall remain nameless. The restaurant did not have a designated location for deliveries, so my dad had to park the truck out front... on the side of the road of a busy main street. It was just before 6am. My dad and his coworker, Dave, walked around the back of the truck, opened the doors, and got to work. Dave hopped into the back and started handing stuff down to my dad while he stacked it up next to the truck to be taken inside. Dave turns to hand my dad another box and sees a car speeding down the road... headed straight for their truck. He yells at my dad to jump out of the way, but it was too late. The car slammed into my dad and then into the back of the truck, pinning him. The force of the impact was so much that Dave was thrown out of the truck and into the car windshield. The man driving the car restarted it and started to back up. Dave got off the hood and pulled the guy out of the car... stopping him from leaving the scene of the accident. My dad now laid lifeless on the street.

We went from a "possible broken femur" to "with the extent of his injuries, he will not make it through the night."

Speechless. The life was literally sucked out of my body. We had to see him. Now.

We walked up to the TICU. As soon as I saw my dad, I tried not to cry... but I couldn't hold it in any more. He was wearing a neck brace and was so banged up with open wounds all over his head, face, and body. He was awake. He smiled as soon as he saw us and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug ever, but I couldn't. The doctor pulled us outside and listed his injuries. The initial tests indicated that he had bleeding in his brain, punctured lungs, and had broken his back, all of his ribs, his leg, and his ankle. The doctors told us that they were going to induce a coma and put him on a ventilator so that the bleed in his brain and his lungs could start to heal. We went back in to talk to my dad and let them know what was going on. We explained that the coma would hopefully stop the bleeding in his brain, which was their top priority at the moment. I think it's a lot easier to hear it from us, then from the doctors. He was then put into a coma sometime before noon. Honestly, I thought it was the last time I would see my dad awake.

We didn't leave the hospital until almost midnight. We knew that it would be a long night and that it was so critical that the bleeding stop. My mom called the hospital every hour throughout the night for updates. By 6am the next morning, we finally heard the news we had so desperately been waiting for: the bleeding stopped. They woke my dad up from the coma (thankfully!!!!) but he still needed to remain on the ventilator. We took a big notebook and pen up to the hospital the next day so that my dad could "talk" to us. I still have that notebook to this day.

My mom headed up to the hospital the next day with her best friend, while Kristi and I stayed behind. Kacy's boat was docking this morning and we had to attempt to call her. Before we made that horrible call, Kristi took care of Kacy's travel arrangements, switching the day, time, and location of her flight home so that she'd land right in NYC (which was just across the bridge from the hospital.) We then called Kacy. Of course, she was shocked and devastated, but we were happy that we could at least tell her that the bleeding and swelling in dad's brain had stopped and was now shrinking.

Over the next week, my dad remained on the ventilator due to his punctured lungs. He also remained in a neck brace. At the time, we were not sure why the neck brace wasn't removed, but all the doctors kept saying that it simply needed to remain on him. We wanted to transfer him to Thomas Jefferson Hospital, which is one of the best trauma hospital's in Philadelphia, but he needed to be off the ventilator first. With a lot of hard work and even more "luck", he was off by Friday (1 week after the accident) and was medivacced from Jersey City Medical Center to Jefferson. Our 2 hour commute to the hospital (one way) everyday, was now cut down to just 15 minutes. We were so happy to have him back "home."

III of IV

{Back to Square One}
Thomas Jefferson University Hospital ran their own tests on my dad, but we were confident that they would yield the same results. We've never been more wrong.

On January 19th, exactly 1 week and 2 days after the accident, we heard the worst news ever. My dad's neck was broken. I actually think this news would have been easier to handle if we'd heard it in the original list of injuries, but no. It came a week later when we felt that he was "out of the woods." It brought us right back to January 10th. Back to square one.

The neurologist explained that my dad had a C1, C2 sublux. What does that mean? It means that the first too Cervical Vertebrae in my dad's spine were dislocated. Huh? Yeah, we were confused too so the doctor put it in laments terms for us and I will never, ever forget what he said: my dad was basically decapitated and the only thing holding his head on his body was his skin. That's how he explained it. Thankfully, his spinal cord looked to be in good condition, which the doctor still didn't understand. He called it a miracle, actually. Now, there were 2 options: do nothing and hope that any slight bump or fall wouldn't cause immediate paralysis or death (yeah, not an option)... or... surgery. The doctor told us that he had the "chance of quarters" after surgery- 25% chance of death, 25% chance of becoming a quadriplegic, 25% chance of becoming a paraplegic, or 25% chance of coming out "fine." What we heard: 75% chance that something could go wrong. But what choice did we have?


January 21, 2003 was the second longest day of my life. We sat in the surgical waiting room hour after hour grasping on any signs of hope that we could find that meant things we're going to be okay. They had the show ER on in the waiting room. Who ever is in charge of selecting television shows for the families in the surgical waiting room has a delusional sense of humor. Sometime in the late afternoon we finally got an update... my dad made it through the surgery. No paralysis. Thank God. The doctors placed a metal plate in the back of my dad's head, fusing his skull to the top of his spinal column. Because the C1 and C2 vertebrae control head movement, the surgical fusion meant that my dad would no longer be able to turn his head from side to side, or up and down.


Over the next month, my dad remained in the hospital and on the ventilator. Every time they tried to wean him off, something would happen and he would need to go back on. "One step forward. Two steps back." became our moto. He had a tracheotomy put in but he was still unable to speak. He continued to use the notebook so that he could "talk" to us. By this time, he had several notebooks filled with one-sided conversations that were barely legible due to my dad's inability to look down to write. My family and I got very good at decoding his writing and using his body language and "signs" to figure out what he was trying to say.

When the ventilator was finally removed, they discovered that my dad could no longer eat by himself. The initial trauma of the accident coupled with the tracheatomy severely damaged his throat. He was put on a feeding tube.

My dad continued to beat the odds throughout his time at Jefferson. He moved from the Neurological ICU, to the step-down unit a few weeks after his surgery. He then moved to a long-term care floor, and then, finally, to the therapy floor. We all absolutely loved all of his doctors and nurses... and they were so supportive of his goals. He is a very determined man, if you haven't picked that up by now. :)

IV of IV

{Recovery}
Those that spend an extended amount of time in the hospital know that it's like clock work there. You see the same people day after day. We knew who would be in the waiting room area each day and we knew their stories. We knew who would be working at the hospital cafeteria and we knew them by name. We knew the parking attendant, the security guard, the front desk worker.... we knew everyone. But we have never been more excited to leave a place where we felt like we knew so many people.

A few months after the accident, we were able to take my dad home. He left the hospital in a wheelchair and had a cane for support when he felt he could walk... but he was going home. He had a hospital bed set up in the foyer at my parents house and in-home medical care for several weeks, but he was going home. He was still unable to eat and had a feeding tube, but he was going home. After beating all the odds, my dad was going home.

Throughout the months and years that followed the accident, my dad continued with physical therapy and doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment. He learned how to walk again and is able to eat. To this day he is unable to work and scars from the accident can be seen if you know where to look. But he is a true miracle man. He is a fighter. He is an inspiration to many. He is my hero.

You may be wondering what happened to the guy that hit my dad. He was an 18-year-old illegal immigrant that was driving over 50mph in a 25mph zone. He was drunk and coming home from a party (yes, at 6am.) He also had traces of (several) drugs in his toxicology report. Did I see this kid? Yes. He was in the Jersey City Trauma ICU across the hall from my dad. He was released (to prison) just a few short days after the accident. He was then released on bail and fled the country. I didn't purposely leave him out of the story... the truth is, I just don't think about him. I only care that I have my dad and for that I am unconditionally grateful.

People often ask my dad what got him through it. Through the initial accident and then the bleed in his brain, the coma, all the broken bones, the broken neck, the surgeries, and the recovery. All of it. He always replies: "I wanted to walk my girls down the aisle."

Way to go dad, way to go. We're all so very proud of you.