02 July 2013

So there's this baby coming...

It's sad, but most days I forget that I'm even pregnant and that this is really happening.  {It is really happening, right? Okay, good.  Because I'm kinda attached to the little bugger now.} There's just so much going on lately, that I have to remind myself that another little one is on the way.

Like, yesterday for example, when I was at my grandfather's funeral and so many people came up to congratulate us.  I almost wanted to respond "umm, what for?" {I mean, do these people not realize that we're at a funeral??}  Then I was all... oh yeah, we're the crazy people having our FOURTH kid! Awesome.

But it is awesome.

Anyway, I promised you an update, so let's do this...

It's long. #sorrynotsorry

Let's see... it all goes back to my dad's birthday weekend.  The Wednesday before {so May 22nd} I was so excited because my new bathing suit for our upcoming trip to Hawaii had just arrived at my house and I was excited to try it on {well, as excited as one can get trying on a bathing suit 8 months after having a baby.} I ran upstairs and put the sucker on and immediately looked down at my belly.

I looked pregnant.

Now, I'm not going to lie, I look kinda pregnant when I'm not pregnant anyway.  I mean, there were three monster babies in this belly, it's just something I have to deal with.  But, when I'm pregnant, my belly immediately starts protruding right above my belly button.  It's hard to explain, but it happens right away {apparently when sperm meets egg for this crazy lady.} And it was so there.

I did some mental calculations and I was all "nope, not pregnant." I knew my period was due any day so I just chalked it up to major bloat and called it a day.

The next day {May 23rd} I was at work and one of my coworkers started talking to me about my plans for the upcoming weekend.  {She knew it was my dad's birthday and was making sure I was okay, etc.}  I was joking around with her because I told her I was worried I was going to be overly emotional because my period was due any day and that always makes me feel so much worse. 

And, do you want to know what I said to her next? 

"But it could be worse... at least I'm not pregnant!"

Yep, I actually said that. And we laughed afterwards too.

May 24th was Brynn's birthday and we had so much fun celebrating our little girl.  At this point, I was already 1 day late, but I wasn't worried about it. 

Like, at all.

I woke up on May 25th, my dad's birthday, without my period again but I honestly thought that it was just late because of all of the emotions surrounding the day. {I lost my dad suddenly on December 4th, for those that are new.}  I was cramping like normal and had bloat like whoa, so I figured it was likely coming soon. I had so much other stuff to worry about that day so I just headed to my mom's to start the festivitites for my dad.

By Sunday morning, May 26th, at 4 days late, I really started to go "hmmm."  I was still crampy and bloated, so I figured it must be coming soon, but since I had another busy day {Aubrey's Baptism} I wanted to just rule it out.   I had some extra Wondfo's left over from when I was pregnant with Reid that expired in June, so I figured why not just use them.  I peed in a cup, dipped the stick in and continued with my business.  I watched as it went across the test and immediately just saw the control line.  "Okay, good" was exactly what I said.  I looked down for a split second and looked back up and there it was.  In my face.  A second line. Clear as day.

I was pregnant.

"Oh, shit."

That was my initial response.  I got another Wondfo test out of the bag and dipped it in the cup again.  A second line popped up right away.


I was shaking.  

At this point Bob was awake and about to start getting ready for the Baptism.  He was coming down the stairs from our bedroom and I looked at him and said "Umm, honey?" 

Ya know what he said?

"You're pregnant, aren't you?"

Yep.  The man knows his stuff.  He said "I've heard that voice five times already, I think I know when you're pregnant."

He was immediately happy.  I immediately cried.

He hugged me and, even as I was crying, I said "BUT I DON'T WANT TO CRY!"

I was just shocked.  I literally thought there was no possible way that I could even be pregnant.  But clearly, I was.  All the signs were there.  I just ignored them.  But it's kinda hard to ignore a glaring positive pregnancy test. Or two. {Or ten, even. Ahem.}

I sat on the bottom step in my living room, and as my 3 kids slept, I just stared blankly out the window. We had a plan. Our house is up for sale.  We wanted to build a new one.  We wanted to save money. 

WE HAVE AN 8 MONTH OLD BABY.

Those were the thoughts that ran through my mind, all at once. Meanwhile, I could kind of hear Bob talking to me in the kitchen. I heard all these logical things like "I'm happy!" and "It will all work out!" and "This is a good thing!"  Ya know... all things that are actual FACTS but at the time I just wasn't thinking clearly. 

I so desperately wanted to be happy.  I felt bad for my initial reaction, even while I was in the moment, but I just couldn't help it.

I quickly realized what time it was and knew that we had to start getting ready if we wanted to be on time for Aubrey's Baptism.  Bob and I didn't speak another word of it the entire time we were with my family.  Honestly, most of the day I even forgot about it... ya know, except when I was offered wine and couldn't drink it.  Oh, and there was this one time when my sister Kacy was telling a story about her friend that was pregnant again after just delivering with us in September.  She even said "OMG, can you imagine??" with her evil laugh.  I jokingly said "yeah, what an idiot!" all the while knowing that I was joining her.

On the way home from the Baptism I figured I should stop at the store and buy a "real" test just in case.  I mean, I know Wondfo's are reliable, but you can buy like 100 of them for $2 on Amazon so I figured I needed something a little more... trusting.  And also maybe a digital.  Because when there word "Pregnant" pops up, there's really no denying it.

So, at 5pm on May 26th, this is what we saw...
This was happening.

I put in my dates and realized I was due January 30, 2014.

A winter baby.  What the hell do I do with a winter baby?

I went to bed feeling a little better than I had in the morning.  As I laid there in bed, I actually thought back to my second round of tests and I remembered smiling when the word "Pregnant" popped up.

I smiled.

I was coming to my senses, people.

The shock was wearing off and I was actually thinking straight.  I closed my eyes, thankful that the next day was Memorial Day and that we had nothing at all planned. 

On Monday, I woke up happy.  Excited.  I actually started telling a few people.  Mostly close friends that I knew would understand.  Friends that have had surprise pregnancies or that have kids close in age {Reid and this baby will be 16 months apart.}  When I heard that my reaction was completely normal, I started feeling a little more relaxed. 

I did still feel bad for crying though.

By Monday night, I decided to tell my sisters.  I called Kacy first.  Aubrey wasn't exactly planned, so I knew she would completely understand where I was coming from.  I started talking to her about the Baptism the day before and while she was telling me a story, I decided to text her a picture of the pregnancy test.  When she stopped mid-sentence, I knew she had received it.

"SHUT UP!!"

She was happy.  Excited.  Right from the start.  Just like Bob. {Why couldn't I have reacted like that??} Then she remembered the story she told me about her friend being pregnant again already and apologized.  I really didn't care. It was fine.  I was just glad she knew because it immediately put my mind at ease.

This was a good thing.

When I finished talking to Kacy, I tried calling my sister, Kristi, but she didn't pick up.  I knew she had a BBQ to attend, so I just figured I'd call her back the next day. And guess what? She was happy too. My mom.  Bob's family.  Everyone was happy.

This is a good thing, Jenn... catch up!

I knew in my heart that this was amazing news, but my mind was still all... THE PLAN. THE PLAN.

But ya know what? Plans change.

So, maybe we couldn't build a new house any more... so what.  NBD. I'm sure we could find something just as wonderful that was already built. And maybe we couldn't save as much money as we had hoped.  Oh well. What we save will have to be enough. And maybe, just maybe, we did have more pressure on us to sell our house faster.  Ya know what? It will work out.

Everything will work out.

In the last 6 weeks, I've been nothing but excited for this little baby to come and complete our family. It may have taken a few days for my brain to catch up to my heart, but it did.  It finally did. 

I am so in love with our little IV.

And finally, to answer the first question I receive once people find out I'm pregnant again...

YES, WE ARE FINDING OUT! 

I think this was surprise enough for us.  And also? I just like knowing better.

Next up? Belly pics.  Soon.  Promise.

25 comments:

jen_schoeph said...

congrats, congrats, congrats. unexpected but oh so wonderful. i'm sure brynn is rooting for a little sister! sounds like a smooth pregnancy so far...can't ask for much more! congrats to you and yours!

J-Berg said...

Congratulations! I am so, so excited for you.

Crazy, blog stalker story for you. I was really hoping you would have a 4th. You have such beautiful babies :)

Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife said...

Congratulations!

Our second was a complete surprise. We weren't even sure we wanted another child but we ended up with two that are twenty-two months apart. And talking about changed plans...I found out while I was home for a week before my new job started! My husband just said "Wow" over and over again for about an hour when I told him.

It does all work out though. Your brain and your heart get on the same page. I couldn't imagine life without our son, he completes our family.

Best of luck to all of you!

Jeannie said...

How exciting!!! Thank you for sharing all the details :) I can't wait to watch your bellah grow over the next few months!! Congratulations!! ::hugs::

undomestic mama said...

i got pregnant on the pill....with twins. And no, I didn't take an antibiotic or miss one (those are everyone's first questions.) I reacted the same as you at first but I think the shock just makes us not think clearly at first. Less than 24 hours later I was elated and they're the best thing that EVER happened to me.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! I secretly hope for you to have babies lol I have been reading your blog since you started it with Carter! If anyone can pull off 4 babies it's YOU! I found out on June 26th that my husband and I are expecting our 2nd child, NOT plannned, our son is 7 YEARS old! Didn't plan on having anymore. Well that sure changed. After 8 tests Josh (husband) said "honey I think you're pregnant" me of course was like "maybe JUST maybe it's a bad batch of tests. It could happen right??? We will be having a winter baby and like you I'm like WTH do I do with a winter baby?!?! My son's birthday is May 23rd ;) I think its sinking in now and I feel excited and looking forward to our new little "bug" even started talking about names. My 7 year old, and husband took the news 100 times better then me. It WILL be ok and it's a wonderful unexpected blessing. Good Luck Jenni!!!!

Julia said...

So exciting!!!! Happy number 4! I have 2 19 month a part and its awesome!

ℐ. said...

Congrats! I'm due Jan 3rd and like you I'm so nervous about having a winter baby, plus it's still so close to Christmas, oh man lol. It's funny how husband's always know when their wives are pregnant. With my daughter and with this pregnancy I swore up and down I wasn't pregnant and mother nature was just late but he always knew. So weird!

J.

Camille said...

It's ok!! I'd have an absolute panic attack if I got pregnant next month (when our second will be 8 months old). I think it's only natural! It always takes my husband a while to get excited and stop being anxious when he finds out I'm pregnant. But he's always ecstatic by the time they are born. :)

Anyway, congrats!!!!!

Krista said...

Congrats!! I hope you're feeling well.

My favorite part of this entire post is "What the hell am I supposed to do with a winter baby?"

I nearly spit out my water at that one. I'm pregnant with #2 and due in Oct. I'd wanted a spring or summer baby but it wasn't in the cards. When I finally got pregnant and realized I was due in Oct. I was so worried about fall. Won't this kid be really cold coming home from the hospital, I kept asking. My mom was finally like--get him some long sleeve pjs and socks and he'll be FINE! :)

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather's passing, but super excited to hear that you're pregnant! Welcome to my world of 4 kiddos. :) Yay!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!! I'm a regular reader of your blog (especially since Reid and my baby girl were due on almost the same day last year), but I'm commenting as anonymous today because this is still a secret...I'm expecting my 4th too!! I'm due in March and my two youngest will be 17 months apart which totally freaks me out. When I first took a test, I thought it was negative for the first few hours before going back to take one more look. I cried for 45 minutes straight. Getting used to the idea now!

Hannah @Supermommy!...Or Not. said...

My first was a winter baby too :) I like winter babies because newborns like to snuggle and it's a lot easier to do that when it's cold :) Make sure you buy a carseat cover though (JJ Cole has good ones)! Those things are indispensable since blankets always fall off.

Jenn P said...

Awesome, amazing news! Your reaction was totally understandable. After I had my twins, got pregnant again and was told we were having twins AGAIN....well, let's just say my reaction made yours look awesome ;) You will be an awesome mommy of 4, and I'm so glad we get to see belly pics again! Hope you're feeling well mama! ~Jenn

www.twobytwomom.com

Fresh Mommy said...

Congratulations!!!!!

ashley said...

How awesomely insane lol Congratulations, sweetie. Very happy for you!

Jamie said...

Congrats!! :-D I also have to know the gender. :) I think the ultra sound is a good enough surprise! :)

Jamie

Tasha - The Clean Eating Mama said...

HUGE NEWS! So happy for you all! And Jenn, your feelings are perfectly normal and natural. You are an AMAZING mom and I know this new addition will only make this family stronger!

Andrea said...

Congratulations again Jenni! This is amazing!

I love you IG feed with your chunky babies and can't wait to see IV!

vanessa said...

Awww, congrats to you! We are nearly in the same boat and I totally relate to how you felt when you found out. I am 14 weeks pregnant with no2, and Abigail is nearly 11 months old. Practically the same gap. It wasn't planned and I was shocked and guilty for feeling upset when I found out. One weekend I was so tired and after a two hour nap was still drained. Like you, I had some window sitting around and took the test without thinking, and the second line came up immediately. I am finally feeling excited and I do think these babies are meant to be. At 14 weeks I look at least 6 months pregnant, it is actually embarrassing! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

vanessa said...

Arghh, I hate autocorrect on my phone! Not window, wonfos! X

Becca said...

This only prove that sometime our plan is not what God is plan for us. But I am sure his plan is good and perfect for your family. Congrats for the new baby!

www.pinkbears.ca said...

Congratulations!!! Obviously God has other plans for you. And don't feel bad about crying about it - I would too if I were pregnant now (my Audrey is 8 months also) You've probably heard this before, but I have a friend with 5 kids who says that after the 3rd, it doesn't get any harder because the older ones are now old enough to help... not that I think you should be worried about that, but I would be - I find 2 difficult!

Kendra said...

I think it's awesome :) don't let the "lack of age" gap scare you. I have 3 under 2.5 years apart and we constantly get comments (rude and shocked) about how busy we must be and that we're crazy and must have our hands full and how the heck do you do it? You know what i tell them? Its a good kinda busy, my hands are full of good things, and i dont know any other way-this is our "normal" and we just get it done :)
You can do it :)

Kristin said...

So happy for you sweetheart! You inspire me so much not to be scared of 3!!!

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