I poopin'

Oh, my dear Carter. Please forgive me.

When Carter poops, something comes over him. I can't quite put my finger on it but it's somewhere between a poltergeist and a grown angry man, possessed.

Now we all know when Carter does his business, because he usually grabs on to a chair somewhere, straightens his legs and grunts. I always check on him to make sure he's okay. My sweet boy use to simply shake his head yes and go about his business.

Not any more. No, now something {or someone} has taken over.

Our convo might go something like this... {and please, picture Carter's voice, not as a sweet 2 year old, but a scary monster}

Jenni: Carter, where are you? :::looks around until I see him holding on to a table or an empty chair:::
Carter: I POOPIN!
Jenni: Okay buddy, everything fine?
Carter: OVER THERE! :::points to the door:::
Jenni: Whoa, okay honey. You want me to leave?
Carter: GET! OUT!

And I have about 15 seconds of video to prove it {taken by my sister Kacy from her iPhone on New Year's Eve}

Did you hear it? If you restart and listen to the first few seconds you can hear him say "I POOPIN!!" then at the end he yells "OVER THERE!"

Oh Carter Man... we love you so much!

And a quick pic from yesterday {where he happened to clear his entire bookshelf so that he would have a clear space to hold on too}What can I say? My man wants his privacy.

I must also quickly add that we don't laugh at him when he's pooping, but it came up in conversation about how he acts when he does it, and then he actually did it at our NYE party so that's why we were laughing in the video. I promise you that I am super supportive of my little man's pooping habits.

But I can't promise you that we don't quote him in real life situations on a daily basis.

Next topic: Potty Training 101 ;)

#16!!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!!! xoxo

A Typical Night

Let me preface this by saying that, lately, my son has been picking his toys up off the floor with his teeth. Now, I'm not talkin floor>hand>mouth... I mean he's crawling over to a toy, leaning down, and picking it up with his teeth. I think he's spending too much time with Kai. Yesterday I actually heard him growl while shaking the toy in his mouth from side to side. Then laugh, of course. Good times. :)

Now on to the point of this post...

Here is a typical night in our house: everyone comes home, Carter plays on the floor in the family room {he LOVES his toys and gets so excited when he dumps them out everywhere} he gets a bath, plays some more and then eats. In the meantime, Bob and I eat dinner, watch Seinfeld and then the Phillies game. Usually, around 8pm or so, Carter starts getting tired, so he yells at me {fists and all} to take him up to our room to play on our bed and watch Mickey. He usually acts like a crack baby {ya know... his usual self} and rolls/crawls around the bed until he tires himself out then passes out around 8:30 or 9.

Well last night was no different. Except this time, I was armed with a camera.

Crawling around with his taggy blanket in his mouth. Getting mad that I brought the camera up with me tonight.Drops blanket and sits up when I put a new episode of Mickey on...

Standing on the pillows is a great idea...Realizes that he's hungry again, so I give him a little more to eat {he's been having major blowouts because of the two teeth that came in this week...} I guess the bottle tastes better with one foot in the air?Eating one handed while playing with his hair.

Eating one handed while playing with his hair and putting his foot in the air {my kid is so smart... he can already multitask!}Throws bottle when empty and lays down on the bed to get comfy.Annnnnnnd down for the count.
This is the part of the evening where I have to move him out of my spot and over to his own room/crib.

And we moms wonder why we're too tired to think.

What's my problem?

"Mr. Madison, what you have just said, is the most insanely idiotic thing I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul." - Billy Madison

This. This is how I feel ever since I've become a mom. I don't know why or how this happened. I mean, I did earn a 4.0 in my Master's of Education program, yet I feel like I can't add 2+2 without stopping to think about it. What is my problem? No one told me this would happen. That I would become 10x dumber after having a baby. Please tell me that I'm not the only one. Please?

I went shopping last night. My list consisted of fruit for Carter, a wedding card for Tim and Christina, shampoo, and paper towel. That's it. Four items. I came back home without the fruit for Carter. Now I know that everyone forgets stuff from a shopping list every once in a while, but "fruit for Carter" was the very first thing on my list. Not only that, but after walking around the store to pick up all my items, I checked the list to make sure I got everything. "Yep, I got it, lets proceed to the checkout." When I got to the checkout, I put everything on the conveyor belt and checked my list one last time- "fruit, card, shampoo, paper towel- I'm good." I get home, empty the bags, take one look at Carter who was happily playing on the floor and realize I forgot the effing fruit. No, I didn't leave the bag behind at the store- I didn't even go to the aisle and pick it up. This is the kind of stuff that I do on a daily basis. I feel so forgetful and like I can't even make a complete sentence. What is my problem?

As an undergrad I was a psychology major. Recently I've been thinking about 2 research studies that I was apart of. The first study concluded that people tend to remember items at the beginning and end of a list, but not the middle. Nope... not me. The second study concluded that rats that had babies were smarter then rats that didn't. The mama rats completed every assigned task better and faster then their baby-less counterparts. Nope... not me. I'm going against science people. Science.

So I ask again... please tell me I'm not the only one? If you're brave, I'd love to read your comments. To the shy readers... there's a poll on the side :)

***** EDIT ****

I just went to the bathroom for the first time since getting ready for work this morning {yes, I am a bionic woman that can hold my pee for long periods of time- even while 9 months PG} and my underwear was on inside out. Inside out. This is the stuff I'm talking about.

They're balls!

As you all know by now, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is Carter's favorite show. We watch it On Demand all. the. time. Anyway, one of the episodes {that's been on there forever} is called "Minnie's Mystery." For those of you that haven't seen it- and I'm sure that's 92% of you- {I enjoy making up statistics} Minnie bakes a dozen blueberry muffins, however someone eats some of them. So the whole gang goes around trying to find the "mystery guest" who ate the muffins {and if your curiosity has gotten the better of you -and I'm sure after my excellent recap of the show that is has- it ends up being a baby bear.}

There's this scene in the beginning of the show when Minnie discovers the muffins are gone. She counts the muffins to see how many were stolen. This is Carter's favorite part of the episode. Now when we first started watching it, he got way more excited about yelling at Minnie counting the muffins then he does now. I don't know why I didn't tape it then. Every time she would start counting, Carter would scream "ball. ball. ball. ball. ball." You get the idea. This would go on for the whole minute that she counts.

It was if he were saying "they're balls not muffins!!"
And, in Carter's defense, the muffins in the pan do look like balls, do they not?

Last night I finally caught it on tape. Now you can hear Carter say "ball" over and over and even do a few fists, in a somewhat frustrating way, but, despite his happy hands, he's not as excited as he usually gets. I think he's just pissed about the fact that they are indeed balls in the pan and Minnie STILL hasn't picked up on that after all this time. He's about given up on helping her...

Carter is definitely at the point now where it's more like "they're balls you stupid b..." Yes, Carter curses when he gets mad. Don't look at me... I didn't teach him that ;)

Weekend Recap

I see an ongoing theme about this past weekend.

Eat. Shop. Repeat if necessary.

Friday night, Bob, Carter, and I headed out to dinner with Kacy and Ryan. Carter has this new thing now {and I think he learned it for our dog, Kai} where he'll stare at you {without even blinking} while you eat. I mean stare. He even moves his mouth sometimes, mimicking you as you chew. Anyway, if I'm eating something that's okay for him to eat, then I'll share. For example, he had his first homemade meatball last week and LOVED it. And I've always shared any mushy food, like mashed potatoes, etc. with him. Well on Friday night, I gave him tiny pieces of my chicken fingers. OMG. He was reaching across the table for more and saying "num num nummmm." So... yes, Carter dear, there is a whole world of food out there besides pureed peas. And I think you're going to love it. :)

On Saturday, Bob headed to the movies {to see Wolverine} with some of my family, while I stayed back with Carter. I couldn't wait to spend some time with him, just the two of us. Yay for date days! After playing for a little bit, we took a trip to Babies R Us. We needed a ton of necessities{diapers, wipes, formula, new pj's} but we made sure to get some fun things too :)

While we were trying out everything in the toy aisle, we stumbled upon the LeapFrog Alphabet Drum. Carter loves to band on things {usually the wipey container} so we figured it was about time he learned from his banging...

We also got a few practical things as well, like this JJ Cole bib and the Kiddoptamus travel food mat... ya know, since my baby boy is eating things like meatballs and chicken fingers!!! {le sigh}

But our favorite purchases of all, were Carter's new sunglasses and Phillies hat! :) He kept it on for quite a while but then did what he always does whenever his dad wears a hat...When everyone got home from the movies, we headed back out to watch Kacy and my dad's 12-year-old soccer team play in their game. We got there about 10 minutes before half time, but as soon as we showed up they scored 3 goals!! Carter is their lucky charm :)
He just loved watching the game, all the people, and of course.... the ball ball ball. Their team ended up winning 5-0!

After the game, we headed over to see Maureen & Chris, who are fresh back from their honeymoon in Antigua, then went with everyone to Toscana's for dinner. YUM!

On Sunday, Bob, Carter, and I ventured out in the rain to do some shopping. We were there for quite awhile, getting Mother's Day gifts, and some clothes for all 3 of us. About half way through the shopping trip, this was Carter...Guess it was too much shopping for him this weekend! After shopping, we headed home and watched Role Models and had beer and Chinese food for dinner. YUM... my fav...

Cute Tagline

I just saw the cutest tag line on a new blog that I found. It says...

We can't both look good.

It's me or the house.

My thoughts exactly.

But what happens when neither look good? Hmmm....

Funny

Bwahahahahaha.

I'm an idiot.

Okay, let me preface this story by saying that I was on 3 hours of sleep yesterday. Ever since Carter has been on the breathing treatments for his RSV, he has not slept through the night. Apparently Albuterol is a stimulant and makes baby's hyper. It's now the devil. Yeah, yeah... I'm glad it's helping Carter feel better... but at 2am, 3am, 4am, oh-and 5am... it's the devil.

Now, "on with the chlorophyll"... {movie?}

Yesterday afternoon Kacy and I headed to The Bank {I'm not kidding, that's the name of "the bank"} straight from work. I just needed to cash a check, so we went through the drive thru. I signed the check, put it in the holder and sent it on it's way. We waited for like 3-4 mins (while a group of 4 teenagers stared at us from the next lane...ugh.) The bank teller finally came on and this is how our conversation went:

Teller: Can I please have your street name?
Me: Excuse me?
Teller: Your street name?
Me: ::::blank stare:::
Teller: :::waiting::::
Me: :::looking over at Kacy::: I don't understand what she's asking.
Kacy: Your street name, Jenn, like your address. What do you think she means... your street name... like yo, yo, yo J-Zizzle.
Me: :::dies laughing:::

Yeah, so...I need more sleep.

Love,
J-Zizzle

Wrapping 101

I spent the weekend finishing up some shopping and wrapping all of our Christmas gifts. The only gifts I didn't wrap were my own, from Bob. What use to take me 1 night, now takes nearly 2 full days. Guess that's life with an infant :)

For those of you {ahem, slackers} who have yet to wrap your presents, I bring you...

Wrapping 101

Step 1: Recruit helpers.

Check.



Step 2: Start drinking.Check.



Step 3: Gather gifts.Whoa. Check.



Step 4: Get wrapping paper, gift bags, tissue paper, label stickers, markers, ribbons, scissors, etc. together and in one place.

Check.

Step 5: Break time. Yes, you are allowed to take breaks before you actually start wrapping.
Okay, back to work.

Step 6: Get in the zone and wrap, wrap, wrap.
Check.

Step 7: Take another break.What a handsome little helper.

Step 7: Finish up...
Check.

Step 8: Place Bob, Carter, and Kai's presents under the tree. (Kai's are high...he WILL open them early if they're not ;)

Check.

And, in case you forgot...
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silly Boy

Saturday morning, while Bob and I drank our morning coffee and talked, Carter played happily in his Jumperoo. I stopped hearing the music and looked over at Carter. This is what we saw...

Instead of turning around to see Mr. Toucan Sam, he decides that turning half upside down was the easiest way. Interesting.

I then proceeded to pick him up because he seemed tired. Well he decided that eating my face was a better idea. I'm not kidding. {ignore my hair... I just woke up!}

"What?"

Usually when he rubs his face in mine (or eats it) it means that he's sleepy. I walk him upstairs to his crib so he can nap. Does he want to nap?

Of course not!Alright.... let's go shopping :)

A Shopping Tail

My sister, Kacy, and I trekked out to the mall earlier this week for a few Christmas gifts. Now, for a Monday night, the mall was packed and, as we got off the exit, we took our first glance over at the parking lot. Yikes.

I immediately went into "holiday eagle eye parking mode" and began looking for a spot. I took a chance at the very first row hoping we would catch someone leaving. As I drove slowly past a parked Lexus, I saw it's yellow lights flash. "Is this guy comin or goin, Kac?" I asked. She spotted the guy first and said "He's goin...move, move, back up, put your blinker on!!" Look what we got?
Now, we should have known that our shopping trip would have been a success right from the start. I mean, we were next to the handicap parking spot... it doesn't get much better then that.
We headed through Macy's and bee lined it right to Coach. We hit the jackpot. Big time.

Kacy and I got a gift for our mom and I got the most beautiful purse I have ever seen (for myself...from Bobby, of course... ya know... for Christmas.) We happily used the 25% off coupon we got from Kerri and saved over $200. Wowzers.

We left our beautiful purchases at Coach while we continued to shop. Kacy was trying a few things on because she has a ton of Christmas parties to go to for work and such. I just waited and opinionated :)

After Kac picked out a few things, we continued to the GAP so that I could return a pair of pants. As we walked by Santa we saw the cutest. thing. ever- therapy dogs!

{Tail. Get it?}

Once we pet/hugged/talked to all of the dogs, we finally made our way to the GAP. I returned my pants and exchanged them for a pair of khaki's (for $15.99!) and 2 sweaters. {What? When everything is on sale,it's hard not to buy for yourself!} In all actuality, I was able to cross off several people from my shopping list. Oh, and I'm not allowed to use this beauty until Christmas day. Ain't she purty?

This may have been our most successful trip to the mall yet. And, since we will never again leave the mall with, not one, but TWO, Coach bags- a picture was in order.
{That's Kacy.}