19 June 2012

Wordless: Bittersweet

Well it's here.

It is upon us now.

That fateful day we were so excited about bright and early one Monday morning in October.

Only to realize that it would be a difficult milestone to pass just one week later.

My due date.

June 21, 2012.

As I mentioned in an earlier {and much more detailed} post, I often felt {and still feel} guilty for getting upset about my miscarriage. I mean, I was only 5 weeks pregnant. But then I realize that a baby was still lost here.

My baby.  A baby that I fell in love with from the moment I saw "Pregnant" on that little screen.

This day is bittersweet.

Though I often think about what we lost, I am beyond thankful for what we have.

Two beautiful children and a healthy baby growing in my belly.

We are so lucky.

But on this day, I just want to take a moment to remember the one who will never be.

Our little June bug.

June Bug
Excerpt taken from my original post, "If only for a week."

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32 comments:

Karly Gomez said...

What a sweet, sweet post.

The Mrs./The Mom said...

That was beautiful (the June bug). It bought tears to my eyes. The right words escape right now so I'll just send HUGS!

juliane2004 said...

I don't think you should feel once ounce of guilt.

I have had 3 miscarriages, two of which were at 4w3d and hadn't even been confirmed via the doc yet. But they were pregnancies and they were babies and I feel zero guilt for being upset that I had those miscarriages.

Tricia said...

What a sweet post and I completely understand! (((hugs)))

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

This is so sweet!! And I believe you will see your angel baby again one day!! But you're right, you have two (and almost three) beautiful children here with you, you are beyond blessed!! xoxo

Ai Sakura said...

a very sweet post.. all the best for the rest of your current pregnancy!


Ai @ Sakura Haruka
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Mimi B said...

I was in the very same spot about 9 yrs ago. Lost my 3rd child the week after I found out I was pregnant. What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!! <3

Jill said...

Hug momma! Very sweet post
Jill @ Momma Totally in Love

Amber and Brian said...

I know how you feel. I had two miscarriages before getting (and staying!) pregnant with my little princess. First one was at 5wks second one was sat 9 weeks. It's still a loss and it's still really heartbreaking even if you weren't that far along.

Kristi, Live and Love...Out Loud said...

Aww Jenni, this gave me the chills. :( Sending hugs and so very happy that you'll soon be holding a healthy baby in your arms soon. Your lost one will never be forgotten and will forever be part of your story.

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

Thanks for sharing this, that picture and wording is just beautiful.

Joyce Lansky said...

My baby was born on June 21st. It was a great day, and now she will be celebrating her 22nd birthday.

http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2012/06/wordless-wednesday-tv-watcher.html

The BOAT said...

Beautiful post. I lost my first, and at first was a little freaked out then that baby's dates matched up with O's dates, but I think it was for the better. Instead of me thinking about my baby that was due in October, I found out O was a boy on 10/11/06, and O was born in February, and I lost the first in February. I'm at peace with what happened on my end, but I do still wonder "what if". This is another reason why I think we may be done with 2, I don't want to press my luck!

Theresa said...

What a beautiful post for your little one. Thank you for sharing!

Kiara Buechler said...

It is totally valid to still be hurting and missing your little babe. The excitement and love you had for them probably grew so much in the week you knew you had them, so it makes sense to still be mourning, especially on the day that you thought you would have them in your arms. Prayers for you and your family.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry. You have every right to feel sad, angry, sorry, whatever you feel. *HUGS*

Stephanie Clark said...

That little baby will be a part of your story forever. For a long time I felt weird talking about my ectopic pregnancy and how traumatic it was for me. I now realize its just part of how I would grow and become a mother. We are strong and will teach our children to be stronger!

amy@agoodlife said...

hugs to you my dear!! xoxo

tahlia @ the parenting files said...

A part of y ou forever! x

sommerfugldesign said...

Your picture and the words are very beautiful.

prideinphotos.com said...

LOVE the quote on the photo...wonderful image too.
Laurie

Sarah Halstead said...

Awww. I love, love, love this post so very sweet.

Gina @ Gigi Marie Photography said...

Oh so moving- makes one stop & reflect.

Camille Griffiths said...

I'm so sorry... I just passed my due date too. Being pregnant again doesn't just make the pain disappear. <3

Irish Italian Blessings said...

Aww sweet post. Love the june bug

robyn said...

It's never too early to fall in love with your wee ones; this was a sweet tribute to June bug.

Mindi @ Simply Stavish said...

Such sweet words. Your little one's memory will always be a part of you. Hugs.

MaryBeth said...

Hugs to you, Jenni. Anniversaries/milestones are so hard.

Gwen said...

I believe that it doesn't matter how long you were pregnant - a loss hurts. I lost my first baby when I was 17 weeks pregnant and I still get choked up when I see that someone had an early loss (or any loss for that matter). Please don't feel guilty, you have every right to feel sad. Big hugs to you today.

staci said...

Hugs to you. My day was 4/24/12. It was hard, but looking at Abby made me realize how lucky I was to be able to have her every day. Just keep holding that belly and Carter and Brynn and be thankful.

Lisa @bitesforbabies said...

Wow! To the point yet beautifully written! I'm pregnant with my second child and I can't even imagine what you had to go through! Your post brought tears to my eyes!

MixedMolly said...

I would have been due this month too. We lost our little one at 8 weeks, and even though it wasn't "planned", I was looking forward to meeting him or her, and it was a huge disappointment when we got the news. I live now with the hope and assurance of meeting that child and spending the rest of eternity together. You are so brave to share this!! I haven't had the courage...

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