02 September 2011

Guest Blogger: Growing Up Geeky

Melissa | Growing Up Geeky
Domestic un-divas of the world, unite!

Beep beep, beep beep, beep beep, buzzed the timer. The cookies were done! I grabbed the oven mitt and slowly opened the oven, only to be greeted by a cloud of hot, hot air and nothing else. The oven was empty. A bit startled and embarrassed, I glanced across the kitchen and saw the uncooked cookie dough still sitting on the baking sheet. Fail. Not a big deal if I didn't need the cookies for a party for which we had to depart in T minus 5 minutes. With its beady chocolate chip eyes, I swear I caught one of the cookies mocking me. Scrumptious chocolate-laden nincompoop.

Despite spending a significant portion of my life following recipes and protocols for scientific experiments and procedures, somehow I was never able to master cooking or baking. Whenever I attempt to make something edible, one (or more) of the following occurs:

* I forget to add an essential ingredient; you don't want to know how brownies sans cooking oil taste...
* I burn something; wait, simmer doesn't mean to cook on high?
* As in the case with the cookies, I start the timer but neglect to place the food in the pot or oven

Those of you out there who are fantastic cooks; I am truly jealous of your culinary prowess. I so badly want to be one of those people who can whip up a gourmet meal with no need for a recipe or prior planning. However, given my list of weaknesses above I think I should thank my lucky stars that I haven't reduced our house to ashes yet. I'm afraid that this is one of those times when I just need to learn to accept my shortcomings.

So, I solemnly resign myself to continue following recipes from the Cream of Mushroom soup can label or the back of the StoveTop Stuffing box. I will pray that these dishes turn out somewhat palatable and God willing, that they do not turn into incendiaries.
Ladies who (like myself) hide behind that blue box of Mac & Cheese in trepidation, I raise my misused and abused spatula to you in solidarity - and so does Carina. Fear not, for our worth as wives and mothers is not based upon the quality (or edibleness) of our epicurean endeavors.

On that note, I must go remove the frozen pizza from the oven. I hope I actually put it inside the oven before starting the timer this go-round.
Thanks so much for taking over my blog for a day Melissa!! You guys? Don't forget to check out her amazing blog!

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Elizabeth said...

Great post! It's always good to know I'm not alone! The husband and I have been cooking more lately, but we haven't really graduated past the soup can recipes! ;)

Nancy said...

Great post! It had me laughing because I had a moment like that yesterday. Whatever you do, DO NOT put a drop of water into hot oil. It cause everything to splatter everywhere. The result? My husband slipped on the oil and landed on his arm. TOTAL FAIL. =/

NKubon said...

Hahah! Too cute! I love the picture of Carina with the spatula, adorable. Gotta love mommy brain. :)

ashley said...

Love this post!

Kristin said...

I am a good cook, but I can be a total airhead and forget to turn the oven on, etc.

Our Growing Garden

Amy T said...

Box Cooker - that's what my husband used to call me...it's taken 5 years and lots of FAILS to be somewhat decent...great post!

Melissa @ Growing Up Geeky said...

@Amy - LOL! Glad you are somewhat decent now! I, unfortunately, am not. The night I started writing this post I failed on 2 occasions...

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