03 September 2011

Guest Blogger: Our Growing Garden

Mommy Dating | Our Growing Garden

We've all met her. The woman in the library or doctor's office that you strike up small chit chat with. Your kids are similar in age, you have similar parenting styles, she seems like the kind of woman you could be best friends with.

You smile admiringly at her and her baby and work up the courage to say, "He is so precious. How old is he?" You learn that your babies were born only days apart. You learn that she breastfeeds and cloth diapers too. While you converse you are thinking in the back of your mind, wow, we have alot in common, I should ask for her phone number or email. But she's probably too busy, or will think I'm weird. Who asks for stranger's phone numbers in a doctor's office anyway?

And then, "Tyler?" the nurse calls, and just like that, you've lost your chance. She gathers up her car seat and diaperbag and purse, a balancing act you're all too familiar with as well. She smiles at you as she passes by and says, "it was nice chatting with you."

It would have been nice to become friends. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, we could all use more friends that understand the challenges of motherhood. I have passed up on what seemed to be many potential friendships because I was too shy or insecure to ask for an email or phone number. I have single friends and childless friends that I value dearly but they haven't yet joined the sisterhood of motherhood. You know what I mean, that unspoken bond that comes when two moms become friends. She'll understand if you can't make it. You'll invite her over for coffee because you can't wait to know her more. She'll still bake you a loaf of sourdough bread even when you threw out the starter she gave you (because you forgot to feed it).

My new friend Jessie had the courage to ask me out on a mom date. She asked for my phone number the first time we went to our new church. She texted me a few days later, "hey, want to come over for dinner Wednesday night?" And while I was a little nervous about it (because I can be ridiculously shy), we found out that we have pretty much everything ever in common. We both have similar parenting styles and values, interested in homeschooling, and both obsessed with coffee and cloth diapers. Every Wednesday we take our kids to the library for story time and then hangout at one of our houses. She is a kindred spirit and I would have missed out on a such a good friendship if one of us hadn't asked the other one out on the first mommy date.

James and his new friend Piper.
So the next time you meet another mom and you feel that instant bond, don't be shy. Ask her questions. Ask for her phone number. Because chances are, she could use a good friend just as much as you.

Kristin writes about the trials, hilarity, and stickiness of first time motherhood at Our Growing Garden.
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Thanks so much for taking over my blog, Kristin!

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2 comments:

Mama G said...

I need to start doing this, but I am so shy like you. Worst they can say is "No", right? Not the end of the world :)

Priscila said...

So true!

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