11 December 2012

WW: For a brief moment...

In the early morning hours, when I first wake, there's a brief moment of peace before my mind realizes the devastation of the tragic loss in which we are experiencing.

And for that brief moment, I have my dad again.

Just a moment.
 1

I wish I could stay there forever.
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31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Jenni, I'm so sorry. We just lost my 60 y.o. uncle of a sudden heart attack 11/14 and he was my mom's closest brother. She is struggling and has that same thing happen to her every morning. I wish there was something I could say to take the hurt away. Your babies & husband will keep you going, even when you feel like you can't.

Jeannie said...

Oh Jenni :( My heart just aches for you. I've been thinking a lot about you over the past few days; I think it's just because I understand the pain; the emptiness; the devastation you feel when you lose a parent. Please know I will continue to pray for you and my thoughts are with you every day. ::hugs::

Katie said...

Oh Jenni you and your family have been on my mind all wk long. I know the pain you are going through and it's awful. My heart breaks for you. Your Dad seemed like an amazing person and I know his memory will live on through you, your Mom, sisters, and all his grandbabies. Continued thoughts and prayers. And huge hugs.

alicia said...

So, so sorry love. I wish I knew the right words to say. My heart aches for you and I will be thinking of you... Hugs!

Sarah said...

I lost my dad 13 years ago and not a day has passed where still wish I could wake up from this "dream". Hugs to you during this tough time.

Michelle said...

Oh Jenni, I am so sorry for your loss.

Jess Gougeon said...

It has been a LONG time since I visited your (or anyone else's) blog. I am so sorry for your lost. I can't even imagine losing my father- so I won't try to sympathize.
My heart hurts for you.

Desirae R said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing your father suddenly is a very difficult thing ( I lost mine suddenly when I was 13). I wish you all the support and hugs that you need right now.

And a virtual hug from me.

Andrea said...

Lots of hugs for you mama. You were a lucky group of girls to have a man like that in your life. Continued thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

OrangeHeroMama said...

prayers and hugs for you! such a loss :(

Brandi said...

I have been thinking about you alot and all I can give you is prayers and hugs.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog since you were expecting Carter. Although I don't know you personally I am truly sorry for your loss. No one can take away your memories and it is in those memories that your father lives on.

Sarah said...

Again, so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your treasure those few moments in the morning...My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Summer said...

So very sorry for you...it's uncanny that I was having nearly the exact same conversation in my head this morning on the way to work. I lost my brother suddenly 9 years ago and the waves of grief still come and go as they please for no apparent reason...and this morning I was remembering those first days and weeks after we lost him and how the mornings were the worst because I would open my eyes, stretch, and in 3 seconds "remember" that he wasn't there anymore. It was horrid reliving it every morning like that and I'm so sorry you're going through that too. It will be better someday, I promise. You'll always ache for your loss, but the pain will become easier to manage in time and peace will take its place. For now, take all the support you can and let yourself grieve however it comes to you naturally...there's no right or wrong or appropriate way other than what feels right to you.

Anonymous said...

Jenni,
I know that brief moment you speak of and I can only imagine how incredibly painful life must be right now. From what I saw on your blog, your dad seemed like an absolutely amazing person, really genuine, really giving and all about his family-just like you! Your blog is a true reflection of the person your dad helped shape you into. I know you will forever miss your dad in your life, as will your children miss their poppy. He will never, ever be forgotten because you and your family will forever celebrate him. I am with you in thought and will continue to be and even though I only know you through your blog, your tragedy has truly touched me. Stay strong Jenni.
Lara

Censie said...

There are no words...all I can say is that I am thinking about you and pray for comfort and happiness. xoxox

Breanna said...

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss :( You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers indefinitely. I'm so sorry :(

Erin said...

You have no idea how much I understand every word of what you wrote. Please know the intensity will lessen. And the pain will change.
Thinking of all of you.

Gina @ Kleinworth & Co. said...

No words can adequately express how deeply saddened I am to hear that. Praying for you through this time. Know that we are all here supporting you with whatever you may need.

Erin Callaway said...

I know those moments Jenni. You will have them 2 weeks from now, 2 months from now, etc. I still have them 5 years after losing my father. Losing a father is very hard - especially as a daughter. It won't be as painful, the pain will ease, you will figure out how to enjoy and remember and laugh about all of the great times that you did have together. He is watching over you and all those little grand babies....... praying for you guys. If you ever want to chat offline feel free to email me (erinmcirish@gmail.com). It's been almost 5 years since I lost my dad and it's still hard..... but knowing that you can talk with someone always helped me out....

Jill said...

I cannot imagine. I just cannot imagine.

I'm so very sorry. So so so sorry.

Toni said...

So sorry, Jenni. Wish I had something more comforting to say.

Anonymous said...

I know that it is very hard to see the forest through the trees right now but I will tell you this:

The hurt will never go away, it will change but it will never go way. You will go through the stages of grief at your own rate. Don't rush it. Once you have reached acceptance, you will learn to function in what is your new normal. You've got this.

My dad was snatched from us suddenly 16 years ago. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him. Wishing he coud taught me how to drive, wishing he could have met my husband, wishing that he could have held my babies wondering if he is proud of the person that I have become and knowing that he was a huge part of it even though I didn't have him for that long.

Your family is in my prayers. Just know that you are not alone.

Molly said...

So much love to you, Jenni. I can feel the hurt and pain. I wish there was something I could do.

J-Berg said...

My heart just aches for you, sweetie. Thinking of you every day!

Jessica said...

I am so sorry Jenni. My dad died 8 years ago and 4 months after he died, I was offered a really great job and I knew he would be so proud of me. My first reaction was always to call him with good news and I did just that, only to get the "this number is no longer in service" message. It was like December 5th all over again and the crushing feeling in your chest that he's not here.
My continued prayers, friend, for you and your family.

Phase Three of Life said...

I've been thinking about you and your family a lot. *hugs*

Heather Kunke said...

I am so sorry for your loss Jenni. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jennifer said...

I'm still praying for you! I lost my father many years ago now and I still have that feeling, that he is still right here with me. I was definitely a Daddy's girl and I still have moments when I catch my breath -- but then I remember I will see him again one day.

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

Oh Jenni, I'm so very sorry. I wish I had words of comfort, but I just don't. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that one day you'll find peace and that it'll hurt a little less and then you have more to smile about each day.

Thinking of you...

Sarah Halstead said...

Awww. My heart aches for you Jenni. I am sure there are no words to take away your pain. xoxo

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