06 January 2010

"It's a girl?"

So I haven't really had a chance to talk about the moment we found out we were having a little girl. It doesn't really seem important with the level II ultrasound we have next week, but I'll discuss it anyway because I'm confident that baby girl is going to be just fine! =)

Our big ultrasound lasted about 45 minutes. The entire time, both the tech and I were referring to the baby as "he." {"He's really moving in there!" or "Look at his little feet!"} I'm not sure if I picked the pronoun or if she did... which made me wonder if the tech had seen the sex already or if it was just habit to pick a pronoun and stick to it. I decided that's what she was doing.

About 25 minutes into it, the tech asked if we wanted to know the sex if she could find it, and we immediately replied "that would be great!" She went in that area right away, but the baby was moving around like CRAZY! She tried for a few minutes to find it and said "we'll come back to it." She did a few more measurements and took a few more pics of the baby's heart and then tried again. No luck. We have a mover and a shaker {just like Carter!} She said she still had a few more things to measure and then we'd "really try!" I was a little disappointed, but knew that the tech was super sweet and that she would try her best to find out what we were having.

On the third try, she seemed to find it after about a minute. She paused the screen and then asked us one more time if we wanted to know {it made me really happy that she asked again, just to be sure!} We of course, replied "YES!" and she smiled and said "it's a girl!" My immediate response was "are you serious!?!"

I was in shock, people. SHOCK.

She proceeded to point out all of her lady bits to us and then unpaused the screen. About 30 seconds later she paused it again and said "oh yeah, it's definitely a girl... I'm 100% sure of it." She got a much better "money shot" and we could clearly see that we were having a little girl.

I didn't know how to feel. Of course I was beyond thrilled! A GIRL??? OMG, I've always wanted a little girl!!! With the relationship that I have with my mom and my 2 sisters, I knew that if I never had a little girl of my own, I would definitely feel like I was missing out on something. Not that boys aren't great... I mean, HELLO??? How could I not want another one of these???

As we called everyone to share the wonderful news {it would have been wonderful either way!} I started thinking more about it. This entire pregnancy I thought I was having a boy. All that I knew and was sure of just up and flew out the window and was replaced by this little girl. The images that I had in my head about Carter having a little brother and the two of them being so close was gone in an instant. And I got.... sad. My little boy was gone.

It was SUCH an odd feeling. I never thought I would feel like this. I mean, I WANTED to have a girl. Deep down, I wanted to lay down on that ultrasound table and have that tech tell me that I was going to have a daughter. Am I weird for having these feelings? It's like I want that little boy that I imagined AND this little girl that I'm actually having. I was excited and sad all at the same time. So odd.

Lastly, for the record, I was never disappointed in the least about the gender of this baby. Ever. I simply just wanted to talk about the mixed emotions I was having when I heard the news. Personally, I just think that I had talked so much about how I thought it was a boy, that it's really all I knew for the first 18 weeks of this pregnancy. Bob didn't have any of these feelings because he thought it was a baby girl this whole time. So, as I was saying "it's a girl?" he was already use to the idea of having a daughter.

We are both beyond thrilled that we are having a baby girl and can not wait to meet the newest member of our family. Our little Brynn Sophia.


Anonymous said...

I think I would have reacted the same way as you, although you know boy #2 is a reality for us now. I pictured a boy the entire time too and so I got him. Landon's little brother!

But a part of me is mourning the a relationship with a daughter that I will NEVER have. We're pretty certain we're two and done, lol! I have three sisters and a great relationship with my mom. I told my mom the other day that I guess she could get rid of my wedding dress. There's really no reason to keep it. But she said she is keeping it. We'll figure out something ; )

Anyway, it's an acceptable reaction because it's YOUR reaction. You are so happy about your girl but you set yourself up for a boy. I *kind of* hoped to see girl bits on the screen but was still so excited when we got the boy money shot again!

You'll be a great girl mom though. And Carter will love his little sis to pieces!

Anonymous said...

TOTALLY NORMAL!! I hate that we feel like we have to have a certain reaction to news and especially to news regarding anything in pregnancy. It's life altering, whether you've been through it before or not, so I think that anything you feel is normal. Of course you are super pumped for a baby girl. Of course!! But I totally get that your sort of mourned the loss of a baby bro for Carter. Don't worry though - he'll like Brynn too. :)

Larissa: said...

You're so cute! Its totally normal to have those feelings!

I remember feeling the same way. I was convinced baby #2 was going to be a boy because "every pregnancy is different" except I felt EXACTLY the same and was carrying the baby EXACTLY the same as I did with Brock! I was a little sad too, but that all went away as soon as I started buying clothes for her! Especially her "coming home" outfit :-)

So happy for you! I'll keep you guys in my thoughts and hope for the best with your level II u/s! Good luck :-)


Mindy said...

I was convinced Cecilia was a boy, and I was a little let down when I was told she was a girl. I wanted to have a boy first, so he could be the protective older brother. With tha being said I am so glad she was a girl, because I couldn't imagine her being anything else!!

And from what I hear girls are a lot more fun to shop for then boys! I wouldn't know since I have always shopped for a girl....I can't go into any store without buying an outfit for her. It's so hard!

Alanna said...

SO excited for you guys!!! We wanted a boy so bad that we were both in shock when we found out we were having a girl. It took me a couple hours to come around to the idea, but once I did, I was SO excited!!! DH is still trying to get used to the idea of having a daughter, but I am thrilled. I can't wait to actually be able to share things with her - to teach her to bake and sew, and paint her nails. It's going to be so fun to have a little Me. :)

I'm sure you are going to love having a daughter, and Carter will love having a sister!

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